Creatures with incredible skills

This planet has some pretty cool creatures on it, and a lot of them have an impressive catalog of skillsets. Bats can see in the dark, (some) humans can pee standing up, and ants can carry stuff that's 50 times their body weight. It's crazy!

If it was 2005, I'd say all of Earth's inhabitants are kool with a capital K. Except humans, we're trash.

And now, a list of magnificent creatures with mad SKILLZ!

MARLINS

Skill: the quickness

Black marlins can swim up to 80mph! Do you realize how fast that is for a living thing to *swim*? My family had a small speedboat growing up and that thing barely hit 40. And we were CRUISING! I lost a pair of sunglasses once. Anyway, marlins are the fastest fish on the planet. That's some speedy cold-blooded vertebrae.

BEAVERS

Skill: building

Ok I get that beavers making dams seems super casual but I think we all need to re-appreciate the fact that these river rats make natural water-stopping constructs with their freakin' teeth. These then create wetlands and, in turn, means way more plants/birds/wildlife buddies for these talented-as-hell buck-teeth-lookin-ass beavers to hang with. They bring the party! Hell yeah beavers.

LIZARDS

Skill: water-walking

Basilisk lizards can walk on water, which puts their nickname "Jesus lizards" into context, although they don't collectively identify with any particular religion. I could more accurately say that these lizards run on water, when startled, for only about 15 feet... but, for sake of maintaining the inspiration of our lizard version of Christ, I decline.

PENGUINS

Skill: not needing a winter jacket

Emperor penguins could easily be seen as the weakest birds ever - they can't fly, they get around mostly by slow waddles, and they live in a place that is at a constant state of miserably cold. However, these snow birds are actually pretty badass. Adult males stand basically immobile for 3 straight months at temperatures as low as 80 degrees below zero to protect their baby eggs. So, the only reason baby penguins ever see the light of day is because of dad's resilience and phat-ass-incubator tummy. Respect.

(baby)GEESE Skill: cliff-jumping

Baddest babies in the bird kingdom? Look no further than the ol' barnacle goose. These infant birds are born on top of 400 foot cliffs and have to jump down alongside jagged/lethal rocks if they want a chance at life. And no, they can't fly yet, and their parents are kind of dicks and just wait for them at the bottom. Only skilled(lucky) babies survive. Sorry.

BLACK SWALLOWER FISH

Skill: you guessed it - swallowing

These fish live about 2 miles below sea level, or alternatively, in our nightmares. They are less than a foot long but can consume fish 10 times their puny size. In other words, the black swallower fish has the capacity to eat what we only can on special binge-worthy occasions like Thanksgiving. Before you get jealous, know that sometimes these guys get over-confident and eat such a massive fish that they start to decompose before digestion - which means gases are released that make the fish surface and... DIE. Gotta keep those skills in check.

HUMMINGBIRDS

Skill: agility

These mini feathered friends can beat their wings up to 80 times per second. We might blink our eyes once in that amount of time. Like little air acrobats, hummingbirds can fly backwards and upside down. They also scare off large predators like hawks to protect their space. How, you might ask? By quickly and abrasively flying around, I imagine similar to a tiny toy helicopter being controlled by a young child. These guys may be the smallest living birds, but their artistry is nothing short of spectaular.

SPHYNX CATS

Skill: warmth

These creepy skin kittens are 4 degrees warmer than other cats, so, at least they got that going for them.